How to Beat the NYT New Paywall (It's Laughably Easy)

4/13/11 - Click to Enlarge 

In the same way that the New World Order-loving scoundrels - they of treasonous intent and perfidious motive - at the NYT purposefully get it wrong day after day when it comes to all issues domestic and planetary, it looks like their ill-conceived plan to make readers pay for content online is going to be a disastrous failure; here at COTT, we posit that this terrible business decision reflects upon their continued estrangement from reality. Like a supertanker filled with disingenuous, utopia-craving wishful thinkers, and other assorted fools, the Ship of State is now in the hands of a misguided captain and his cronies, where on the bridge there is no longer a compass: the old ship compass, it was reasoned, contained dangerous levels of mercury, and therefore it had to be thrown overboard, for the safety of the hordes below-decks. (Though not before it was carefully placed in a haz-mat containment device, the 8 million dollar cost of which the entire population of the ship agreed upon by vote, even though this meant they would have to go without food or fuel for six months).

After jettisoning the mercury-contaminated-vesseled compass over the supertanker's rail and into the sea, where it could cause no more injury, it was decided that henceforth, the crew would NEVER again rely on such a shameful piece of precision modern technology, polluted as it was not only by that toxic element mercury, but also by the equally toxic legacy of the people who exploited other, less fortunate peoples, in the rush to discover the poisonous element. The ship's crew learned one night during a Diversity/Sensitivity Training Seminar in the now-foodless galley of the supertanker, the shameful story of how mining for silver and other precious metals left trace amounts of mercury in the muddy, rocky landscape surrounding lots of indigenous peoples in South America and elsewhere, and that this was bad.

So bad, that mercury had to be outlawed.

Meanwhile, it was decided that the ship would no longer be guided by the readings of a polluted device with an evil oppressive history: henceforth, the elite members of the captain's staff on the bridge decided, the ship's coarse would be decided by the hordes of passengers belowdecks. One of the captain's men would be present when these people used an African Ouija-Board style device to determine the direction of the ship based on a series of dominoes. The captain's men would be armed with Glocks and Tasers, just in case.

But I digress (forgive me for that).

Here is how to beat the NYT paywall: either simply sign in as a different gmail user, or do what thee people recommend, right here.

Or, just simply Google: "How to beat NYT paywall."

As we are early into the game of the NYT trying to "adapt" (read: "save their skin") from all of the changes happening everywhere, the situation will evolve.

My guess is that, as much as I hate the NYT, I will never, EVER have to pay them money to view their online content, which I spend hours doing, to post it here - "We Read The Times So You Don't Have To."